20 Hilarious Google Voice Transcription Bloopers, Flubs, and Fails

By  |  Sunday, August 22, 2010 at 8:00 pm

If Google Voice is the Swiss Army knife of call management services, speech-to-text voicemail transcription is the questionable nail file. Google Voice’s transcription failures are well-documented around the Internet–entire Web sites are dedicated to these follies. They’re more amusing than frustrating, provided you’ve got a sense of humor. Fascinated with Google Voice’s brand of surreal humor, I set out to find the best (worst) Google Voice transcription errors. I found them around the Web, and collected more from the Technologizer comunity, including our founder. Read on for some examples of why Google Voice transcription still has a very, very long way to go.

Hi Kelly, Death calling.

 

Lesson learned: Disastrous rollout of Google Sixth Sense ends the same way as Wave and Accelerator. [Source]

I just wanted to let you know so that you weren’t surprised if you come back for shower tomorrow that my cousin is girlfriend, maybe.

 

Lesson learned: Following awkward confessions by voicemail, Google Voice injects a pinch of ambiguity. [Source]

Hi Mike, It’s Mom Mom, I got three dozen roses, I can’t believe it. Gosh I’m gonna have to get up on you or something.

 

Lesson learned: Don’t cross Google with bogus rumors about acquiring Twitter, Michael Arrington. [Source]

Brannock ridged. Pro-life apocalypse. Thank you.

 

Lesson learned: Google Voice excels at generating sweet band names. [Source]

I know you're a truck so would love to get some more details as to what happened and how the the what transpired between you guys with you and have a meeting. Xxx address my neck

 

Lesson learned: Strange threats abound when the world learns you’re a motor vehicle. [Source]

Low testing then that we will require what what what what what was asking but our answer will be okay.

 

Lesson learned: Porky Pig takes over transcription when all servers are busy. [Source]

Hey this is Steve loaded down with our media. I was John. Shall I give me your number.

 

Lesson learned: Split personalities will never divulge your contact information to each other without permission. [Source]

Hi Melissa, It's, irmalina babies.

 

Lesson learned: Before introducing herself, Irmalina Babies always pauses for dramatic effect. [Source]

hi allen my name is white and my number is area code (626) 523-8023 once again the number is (562) 652-3808

 

Lesson learned: For a computer algorithm, Google Voice is really bad with numbers. [Source]

I want to try to put some angel fund money into your mother

 

Lesson learned: And that’s how babies are born! [Source]

Hi Steven, This is a con.

 

Lesson learned: Rollout of Google Polygraph is an overnight success. [Source]

Hey don't forget your dad killed her name. Be careful on the way. Read some pretty clear down here bomb within like 130 to be careful. Bye

 

Lesson learned: For giggles, Google Voice might get you flagged as a terrorist. [Source]

Hi again This is Michael. So calling from Ralph there. Volkswagen lasagna.

 

Lesson learned: Hey, it beats Maserati wienerschnitzel. [Source]

Yes. Hey Kyle, status Tuesday morning. Give me a call or cocaine XXX-XXXX-XXXX when you can please bye.

 

Lesson learned: Sometimes, e-mail and weed just aren’t enough. [Source]

Here are a few sent in by readers:

We have received your mileage plus visa's long zero certificate to exchange against your tickets leaving the 18th of March from Baltimore to ass pens and we do need to have your form of payment...

 

Lesson learned: No one rides to ass pens for free. [Thanks, Erin!]

Hi Casey, this Isham was urkel wireless just wanted to touch base with you for the installation at the top of the Ghandi. Tomorrow our installer. Jared wanted to just meet you at the top of the Ghandi, .... He will just meet you at the top of the gandhi Thank you.

 

Lesson learned: Typecast out of Hollywood, Jaleel White found spirituality as the head of his own telco business. [Thanks, Casey!]

I understand that I shipped to drives to you and your or bur I need to learn a little courtesy. It's 105-8001 of these tries. I sent by mistake. Catacombs alert me to death and it is supposed to go tickets yet, so I need for you to call me back if you have any questions, please send it backs overnight next day air ticket.

 

Lesson learned: The easiest way to show courtesy is to avoid talking about catacombs and death during business. [Thanks, Marques!]

These last ones are from Harry’s own Google Voice inbox:

Hi Harry, it's Danny. I'm calling on behalf of India.

 

Lesson learned: Do not underestimate Technologizer’s influence.

Hi Harry, This is Curtis, We have got a piece at Jesus. I don't know what was in my mouth.

 

Lesson learned: Google Voice does not support separation of church and embarrassing transcriptions.

Harry, This is Michael, Please bear with Microsoft.

 

Lesson learned: Google Propaganda, another new service, works flawlessly.

 
23 Comments


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23 Comments For This Post

  1. Tom Reestman Says:

    Some funny stuff, but I think it was wrong to post those phone numbers.

  2. Harry McCracken Says:

    According to the post where the message with the phone numbers originated, neither of them is a real number…

    –Harry

  3. dubzsquared Says:

    "I want something with a touchscreen " translated to "i want something with such burning."

  4. Collins Says:

    I was laughing hard reading this post at work, and so were my coworkers who joined the fray. 'till our boss gave us that funny look.

    Great work.

  5. jlee Says:

    I think Google's translator actually works incredibly well … as long as each caller goes into a quiet closet with no ambient noise and speaks directly into their phone. Perhaps some day the world will learn this voicemail etiquette … someday. Otherwise GVoice likes to regularly put "Brad Pitt" into the context of my voicemail messages. Please GVoice stop it.

  6. Tom Reestman Says:

    Thanks for the reply. Glad to hear they're garbage numbers.

  7. John H Says:

    Here's on that I got some time ago: "Bye. Hi Johnny, this is Virginia, I am, you know if I'm bank. Steven nice applicant last check for the deposit on the coffee. She was cash it and I wanted to make sure that you got it. I sent it on the from searching of. Okay bro, just checking"

    Right…all calls start with "Bye"…but even given this mess, i was able to figure out what the gist of msg was…and I doubt this elderly lady would use the term "bro"!

  8. @microblog4crm Says:

    this is plain hilarious… killed myself

  9. persephone Says:

    My stomach and jaw are both hurting. If laughter is the best medicine, hospitals should use Google Voice transcriptions regularly to cure their patients.

  10. hballindee Says:

    I love these kind of things! There's a blog for voice-to-text fails like this (http://www.transcraption.com) plus you can see and sometimes hear what the original message was supposed to be.

  11. speakerism Says:

    Hey, This message is for Rogers Mike from err on the phone. I'm just want to call much. Nora bid 20% off. Phyllis weekend, everything, and I shares 3:20, so if for some up. If you could have recovery find. If not, we will talk to you tomorrow for your path. Thanks. Bye.

  12. Guest Says:

    Actual transcription:

    Hey. I'm naked you both. Have a good time and I felt like you wanna buy the only one that I get to book and so on self Verizon Vegas 10 minutes to the water. I'm not going to get to book it because I've already put some spinach still washed and we're gonna make a salad and we are thinking to have our boca burgers, or similar.

  13. Arnum Says:

    Oh dude, that cracked me up, thanks. If you want sore facial muscles from laughing check "Damn Autocorrect" site out at http://damnyouautocorrect.com/

  14. McP Says:

    These are great! Check out http://talesfromgooglevoice.com for some more.

  15. Guest Says:

    Just got a phone call from a physician at Bastyr Center for Natural Health, or as GV says, "bastards there for National House"

  16. Bruno Says:

    A friend with no intentions… called me! lol

    "Hey, it's Heather, I just want to say hi, haven't done it for a while and I hope everything is going to go out for you. So, talk to you later. Have a good weekend. Bye."

  17. Joey Says:

    I got several.
    "Hello. Hello. Hello. This is truly yet. Pepsi. Hello. Hello. Hello. Yes, okay hello hello bookings. Hello. Well, since you see this okay to say, hey, you can do it. This, bye."

    "Please. Hello. This is a test call to move voice. So You Can reach. Hello. This is it important notice My Mom From, crookedness walls, well sort of thing."

    Finally………….
    "Hey started from. Yeah, hello hello. Later tomorrow after Sand Hill, hey, it's me rental income after here at the White swing by him. Sam guidance. I'd like to talk to him. Started coming. So swap. So what's wrong score, swap. So, it wasn't here at the Blackburn quickly. So what's what's what's what's Ross Ross Ross Ross Ross Ross Ross Ross Perot, hey bud. It's starting to see if we need here. I hope you have any kind of you know He has changed lungs. Everybody mail of the justin Fine. Because ten seconds later. The we're up. Hello, who's looking for a little bit and we're up, you know coming commander. Sam started dropping bombs. Riggs, the Bonds hit the ground. He lives in a while. So I replied. Or, you couldn't. Ross Ross Ross whilst who mmm hmm. She should hello for a apps. Ross Ross Ross Ross 162 I contributed."

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    Handbags. Because I can prefer to chose the fashionable design, favorable price, top service .On the date when the Top Business Directory

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  20. Dave C Says:

    Not exactly google voice but it's the speech to text function on my android phone:

    "I like that you have a sense of humor" translated to " I like the jeffersons theme" :)

  21. anonymous Says:

    Mine said "asian ass porn" when I said "Ella es bonita" to see if foreign languaes worked

  22. Nature Pictures Says:

    Not exactly google voice but it's the speech to text function on my android phone:
    ”Wonderfull Nature Pictures”

  23. iphone 5 Says:

    Those are hilarious. Thanks for the post. My iPhone always auto corrects in a strange way. iphone 5

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